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I?m not really sure when I realized it. Was I always like this? Maybe I was just born this way. How would my friends react if they found out? Would they still be my friends? And what about my family? I mean, I can?t just keep pretending I?m not different than everybody else. The secret is just too much weight to bear any longer. It?s time to come out of the closet:
I am a massive pro wrestling fan.
Like millions of people across the globe, I?ve got an affinity for a brand of entertainment that, by all rights, should not work. The action? Pre-determined. The acting? Awful. The storylines? Shoddier than a Spanish soap opera. And yet, for some reason, people swarm en masse around their television sets, into arenas and in front of their computer screens for a weekly/daily/hourly fill. But why?
In any other setting, two co-workers attacking each other in a back office would lead to a series of arrests and layoffs. But in the Vince McMahon-infused world of ?sports-entertainment,? this kind of quarrel merely leads to these two employees working their issues out in the squared-circle. Or, better yet, in a move that would give any HR manager an aneurysm, these employees are occasionally forced into an Odd Couple-esque scenario and resolve their conflict by re-focusing their rage on a tag team of common enemies. Does it make sense? Nope. But people love it anyways.
Coming clean and admitting ?I?m a wrestling fan? is difficult in itself. But coming out to everyone else? That?s the toughest thing any wrestling fan ever has to do.
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It starts with denial. After stumbling upon two associates talking about it, there?s usually an interjection: ?What are you guys talking about? Oh, wrestling, eh?? Shortly thereafter, however, once you?ve allowed yourself to get a little too excited about the chance of a wrestling conversation taking place, too much specificity spills out, resulting in accidental admittance: ?Actually, the Hulkster?s pythons were 24 inches?.I mean Hulk Hogan!? The look on your associates? faces will forever be burned into your brain.
With this admittance comes several forms of partial acceptance, from ?It runs in my family? to ?I?ve watched a few times, but nothing serious.? But as we all know, you can?t just be a little gay. Inevitably, your secret is fully exposed, forever defining you at school or work as ?the wrestling fan.? Like an outcast, you?re pointed towards and joked about by friends, family and co-workers alike, cackling at you from cubicles filled with Twilight posters and Harry Potter Sideshow Collectibles. Hypocrites!
But while the entire world laughs, and the entertainment community ignores, and girls, in abundance, scoff, it?s worth putting up with all the guff. And why? Because, when push comes to shove, wrestling is fucking awesome. You just don?t get it.
Elijah Bates is a contributing writer for CBS Local
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Source: http://mancavedaily.philadelphia.cbslocal.com/2011/09/07/coming-out-i-love-wrestling/
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